Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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