So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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