if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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