We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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