three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
