marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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