Please, let me fuck your mom
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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