The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
