When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize