what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Randomize
