girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
