just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
