So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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