He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
