Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
