Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
