We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This is my gift to your gina
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
