On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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