His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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