i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
