I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
