so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
