redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
