honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize