I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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