on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
