I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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