"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
