Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Drunk is a universal language darling
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
