God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I looked at my own cervix.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
