I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i would one night stand the shit outta him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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