Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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