Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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