so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
