you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
