Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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