And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
