i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
