you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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