What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
