i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
