hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
