"it" just moved
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
