Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
