Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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