i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
