our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
