Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
