just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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