ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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