I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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