we have officially lost it.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize