does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
