So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
