I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize