made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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