There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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