Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize