Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
