Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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