What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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