well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize