it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
