His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
