so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
