i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
