She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
being pregnant is like rehab
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
