in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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