how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
