Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
