her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
