porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
