GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
birth control should be required to get into college
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize