i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
