I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
