i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm both gender and math confused
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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