If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She bit a glass in half.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
