why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
