It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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