This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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