he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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