Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He shit in the fireplace
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
