MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
