Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
