Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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